Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
- include the word "imago" in the title
- include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!So, um yeah. I had to look up EVERY ONE of those words, and I'm definitely sure I used more than one of them wrong.
I decided to go with the etc. and try my entry in the form of a pompous query letter...so here it goes:
Dear Fortuitous Agent,
Have you been feeling the miasma in the publishing industry lately? Well that is all about to change. The moment you devour my latest masterpiece, The Flight of the Imago, you will guffaw, delight, oscitate, regale, and sing my praises as you devour every brilliant, articulate delectable word.
You will be amazed at the perfect synchronicity of both theme and plot. This book will make you billions of dollars and skyrocket you to the position of the most envied and respected agent in the world. When you look in the mirror, you will weep with pride and admiration for being the prosperous agent to represent this profound novel that will change history.
I have taken the liberty to save you the time of a phone call demanding the privilege to be the fifteenth agent to read my manuscript and have attached the 800,000 word document to this e-mail. I trust my future editor can handle the multiple spelling and grammar issues you may find. Also please overlook the lacuna between the beginning and the end. My ultimate impending greatness dictates a middle to my fictional novel is unnecessary.
Call soon. This offer will not last.
Sincerely,
Soon-to-be-best-selling-rich-famous-greater-than-Dan-Brown-Author
If you liked it, please stop by here and vote for #94. Thanks!
Hahaha! I loved it, I doubt an agent would ever read 800,000 words. It sounds a little like an infomercial - call now to get this book at the free price of two installations of nothing!
ReplyDeleteGreat entry!
omg, this is the perfect query! you have my vote!
ReplyDeleteDear Author, FANTASTIC!This was a great entry. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! I laughed (make that cackled) out loud. Great way to use the words! I do like to see originality.
ReplyDeleteOMG this is hilarious! The funniest thing I've read today. You've my vote.
ReplyDeleteAwww, very clever! Loved the Query! ; )
ReplyDeleteExcellent. Hilarious, too (probably because of it's ring of truth). Loved it.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI laughed pretty freakin' hard. I can't help but wonder just how close to home you're hitting for a few "lucky" agents out there, haha.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, this was an awesome use of the prompt. Nice work!
Brilliant! Thanks for the chuckle! :)
ReplyDeleteThat is excellent. Love the way you used the words in this. I almost found myself wanting to answer the add ;)
ReplyDeleteYay. Just loved it. off to vote straight away :)
ReplyDeleteOriginal and awesome! I'm off to vote... :)
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile! It's original and funny and will get a vote from me!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite. Now I dare you to send it because I don't know about you but I think it's time for an upriseing. I'm tired of trying to be politicaly correct all of the time. Mine is #29. Excuse me while I go click your like button!
ReplyDeleteVery clever and hilarious. Great job! Love your blog background btw :)
ReplyDeleteOh, this is hilarious! So, so funny!
ReplyDeleteMine is #3.
That. Was. Hilarious! Laughed the whole way through. Now. If I were an agent ...
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Carrie! :)
Thanks everybody!
ReplyDeleteSad to say it was easier and probably more 'interesting' than any real query I've written so far....
Hah! "...you will weep with pride and admiration..." I almost spit out my drink. I love it. Off to vote! :)
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Really funny and fabulous use of all the words. Only 800,000 words, eh? Well, you have my vote :)
ReplyDeleteI love the bit about the lacuna between beginning and end. You are hilarious! Thanks so much for the smile.
ReplyDeleteThe Write Soil
Mine is #50.
Haha! I love this!
ReplyDeleteHA! Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. And it rocks that you used a query letter format for your entry.
ReplyDeleteHa! That was fantastic! I love the idea of the query letter. Nice use of the words. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThis is brilliant, not only funny but original! I loved it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks everybody!
ReplyDeleteI swear that is the most funny entry to this challenge I read so far, I love it!
ReplyDeleteI'm number 180, by the way.
Bwah! Love it! Especially because we both took the same pompous route with our entries - we even both used the word guffaw (how weird is that?!?). Very creative to go the query letter route.
ReplyDeleteDear Soon-to-be-best-selling-rich-famous-greater-than-Dan-Brown-Author,
ReplyDeletewe regret to inform you that the agent you queried has committed suicide after reading the third page of your manuscript. We are confident that your rise to fame will not be postponed by such an unfortunate chain of events.
Sincerely not yours,
Literary Agency
Bwahahaha this is totally awesome!! Great job!!
ReplyDelete#189