It's the 1st Wednesday of the month which means a posting for Alex J Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group.Now since we're only 4 days into the New Year, I thought I'd talk about one of my resolutions. Or rather my only resolution, since I'm not usually a big resolution maker.
In 2012 I'm going to overcome my social media shyness.
Now I don't know if being shy is a symptom of insecurity or the other way around, but I suffer from extreme cases of both. Ever since I could walk and talk, I've been paranoid of new social situations. I'm the one with the mouth clamped tight, inching her way towards the door or the darkest corner of the room.
It's not for lack of wanting to be there. I do love going out — conversations, friends, meeting new people. But oftentimes, especially in new and unfamiliar situations...I get a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and little voices in my head telling me "nobody cares what you have to say."
I thought social media would be easier. Nobody can see you blush through a computer. Time to think about what you want to say. But nope, I'm just as shy behind a computer as I am in front of it.
Past experience has taught me that if I want to get over my shyness I just have to keep putting myself in the situation that's making me shy. So this year I plan on commenting more, posting more, interacting more, and tweeting too (once I remember my password).
What about you? Are you shy in real life? Are you shy on the web? If you overcame it, what works for you?
I'm very shy in real life and shy on the web. I thought it would be easier too, but to be yourself, it's hard. I'd like to know what works for people as well.
ReplyDeleteTurns out, I'm mortally shy. I know, I'm pretty bombastic, and that's a good description of me in the real world too. I've layered on this sort of "Oh, yeah? I dare you to challenge me" attitude as a shield against the rest of the world. And the amazing thing about wearing that suit of armor is that you start to see that everyone who's "making it" is just wearing armor. The armor's different from person to person, but I don't know that many people who really present themselves as the person they truly are without some cleverly crafted shielding mechanism.
ReplyDeleteWhich just means that everyone has trouble putting themselves out there. It's just not easy. It's like snakes. When you run into them out on a hike, they're just as frightened as you are. And that's the easiest way to be yourself.
Thanks for this post! I wouldn't call myself shy, but people often think I am because I don't talk unless I have something to say. I do often get that "nobody cares what you have to say" voice in my head too. Sometimes you just have to shove it and say what you think anyway :)
ReplyDeleteAllison (Geek Banter)
I'm not all that shy on the web, although I like that I can post the version of myself that I want people to see. Of course I am not as active as I could be mostly because I am lazy.
ReplyDeleteI'm a basically shy person and have been all my life. I dislike meeting new groups of people and tend to skulk into a dark corner somewhere too. I'm the opposite of the bubbly girl or boy in the crowd. On-line I'm not shy because no-one can see me blush or not make contact with the other person's eyes or stumble over my words. I can be myself and express myself so much more easily on-line. I think if you're passionate about what you're doing, social media can help you express that and meet so many like-minded people. I spend less time on my blog than I have in the past though. I'm busily finishing off my first novel and the blogging takes second place for now - It works for me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your post and all the best for the New Year!
@Christine Rains @Karen Walker Glad I'm not alone! Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDelete@Rena Great words...it made me think of all the motivational things at work.."Dress for the job you want, not the job you have". Maybe that applies to the armor too...
@Allison Hi Allison - Great advice!
@Sara@Joanne Hi Sara and Joanne - thanks for stopping by! That's awesome that you're not shy online. So hoping to get there someday too...
I'm very shy in real life situations, but not so much on the web. That's unfortunate because on the web I don't over think things which can sometimes get me into trouble. I re-read a post or a comment, and right away have self-doubts if the way I expressed myself in writing comes out wrong. I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor which is difficult to express in words and can be received the wrong way. So perhaps a bit of shyness and humility from real life would help me out on the web.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Good for you! I do better on the internet. Not so great in public situations especially if I'm reading my writing in front of a group. Horrifying. But I survived every time (barely). BTW, I love your background - very pretty.
ReplyDeleteI shared some of your hesitation with social media, to do it well can be a huge black hole for your time, and for me at least, I'm always reevaluating whether or not I should be doing other things.
ReplyDeleteBut I have at least dabbled with it and found it suits me well enough.
I used to be shy in real life, figured out how to overcome that and have applied it to the net. Find a few people who you know, who you know are nice, follow them, mimic them until you feel comfortable enough to branch out a little more on your own. I'm tashaseegmiller on Twitter if you want to connect there. I'm still learning the ropes of that aspect, but it is quickly becoming lots of fun. Good luck - new follower!
ReplyDeleteThat's a really good goal. I find social media somewhat overwhelming although it's wonderful the warmth and community it can offer especially to writers, whose job is so lonely. Because there's so much self-projection involved in the Internet, I think that makes me more shy, as any insecurities I have in relating to others get amplified.
ReplyDeleteShy all around! But I do find it getting a little easier via social media, probably because I've met so many great people. :)
ReplyDelete