Mommy's Writing Again...

If you haven't heard of Gennifer Albin yet, you will soon. I found her journey from unagented writer to book deal both amazing and inspirational. You can read about it on her blog. Her debut novel, Crewel, is due out next fall, and I can't wait to read it.

And today I read on her blog she is now offering support for writing mothers via her blog called WrAHM (Write at Home Mothers). Yea! How awesome is that?

For me. Very awesome.

Since I was a little girl, there are only two jobs I've dreamed of having. Mom and Writer. I got the first when my oldest daughter was born thirteen years ago and again when her little sister followed seven years later. I've been achieving the second since I started treating writing like a profession, and forcing myself to sit down every night pounding out page after page on my keyboard.

Unfortunately for me, I don't get paid to do either. So, I also hold down a full-time day job.

How does one chase their dreams, pay the bills, and still be there for your kids? (And keep up with the housework?)

I don't know...but here are 5 things that have been (so far) working for me.

1. Having your spouse 'on board'. My husband cooks dinner every night. He keeps the kids busy while I work. He helps with homework, runs errands, and solves sibling fights. He's researched agents and editors, offered feedback, and been my number one fan. He even cleans on occasion.

2. Including the kids. This one may work for me because my girls are older (13 and 6), but I try to include them in my projects. My 13-year-old loves to beta read, and I'm always asking her for feedback on ideas I have. She will be the first to tell me something is "boring" or "stupid" or "hmm..interesting." My 6-year-old has set up a writing desk next to mine and loves to write alongside me. When she isn't working on her latest princess/fairy story, she is scavenging for office supplies from my desk. She loves office supplies (last Christmas she asked her grandparents for a gift card to OfficeMax).


3. Multitasking. My girls love when I watch one of their favorite shows with them. Their current favorite is Big Time Rush. I can squeeze in 30 minutes on my elliptical while watching this show with them. And both of my kids are involved in various evening activities throughout the week. Using the time I spend around waiting for them to read blogs via my phone or critique somebody else's work is invaluable.

4. Quality over Quantity. Being a writer in pursuit of publication requires putting in the time. Butt in chair. Fingers on keyboard. Day after day. Night after Night. This means time I could be spending with my daughters is spent in other worlds with people that live only in my head. I don't have the quantity to give, so I focus on the quality. When I'm with them, I focus on "being in the moment." My writing, my characters, my latest plot problems cease to exist. I allot time throughout the week for just them. For example, every Saturday morning we go out to breakfast. Although sometimes another friend or family member will join us, the best times happen when it's just us three - talking, reflecting on the week,...hanging out. And at the end of the day, I always remind them of the four little words that will stop my fingers moving across the keyboard faster than any case of writer's block. I need you, mom.

5. To Live by Example. When the guilt starts getting to me and my to-do list becomes overwhelming, I try to remind myself I am leading by example. I want my daughters to work hard in life. I want them to chase after their dreams, no matter how big or small. I hope they see it's never too late to be who you want to be. I want them to believe in themselves. I want them to know anything is possible. That they matter.

Being a writer is hard.... Being a mother is hard.....

Can one do both? Can I do both?

Some days I think, wow, I'm juggling it all. Other days the balls all come crashing to the ground and I'm tempted to give up. Then there are those days where both worlds collide in complete harmony, and your daughter looks up at you and says, "You'll always be my favorite author, mommy."

Those are the days I think, yes, you can have it all.

So if you're both mom and writer, what do you do to balance both worlds?