Hating my WIP

For the past few days I've been hating my current WIP.

I'm less than a handful of scenes from finishing this current draft. I know how it's going to end. I know what I need to write. But whenever I sit down at my computer, the words won't come. Instead I get a barrage of you can't do this, this book sucks, and maybe i should change that scene in chapter two.

So then I do this...

And contemplate an ending where I blow up my world and kill off my characters and be done with it. Then I feel bad, so I go pin all the pretty pictures on Pinterest to make myself feel better, and before I know it another day is gone.

Don't get me wrong. I really truly love my story, my characters, and writing them. I already wrote this story...several times over. I even queried it. And last fall, an agent invited me to resubmit once the writing was stronger.

So I ripped it apart and put it back together. Gave my characters bigger goals and tougher conflicts. I've taken class upon class (I highly highly recommend Margie Lawson) and I can see the difference.

There are a few thousand words left to go. Few enough that I could finish this draft before the week's over...maybe even tonight.

So what am I waiting for?

I have no idea.

Anybody else get like this near the end? Please tell me I'm not alone.

My Tips on Getting and Staying Disciplined...

I don't post a lot of how-tos for writing on here because first—I'm not a pro by any means (I consider myself a wide-eyed student, second—there are trillions of blogs and articles and other fabulous resources out there that say it so much better than I ever can, and third—I'm embarrassed to say, I'm not really even sure I know what I'm doing most of the time..

But every now and then, I think it's good to pass on some of the things that are working for me...just in case they'll work for you too.

So this month, being NANOWriMo, I thought it'd be great to cover some of the ways I try to stay disciplined.

1. Make the time. Everybody complains about lack of time, but when I made the leap to get serious about writing, I found tons of time (and yes I have 2 kids and a full-time day job). For starters I evaluated the TV programs I was watching every week. I mean would my life really cease to exist if I didn't follow Grey's Anatomy, American Idol, Private Practice, The Bachelor, Biggest Loser, Desperate Housewives, and Dancing with the Stars. Once I narrowed down to my absolute can't-miss favorite shows, I found I could DVR them and enjoy them for a few hours on Friday nights...after the kids were and bed and my writing was done. And for even more time, stay away from the computer games. Don't let the reason your book is never written be because you had to harvest your crops on Farmville...

2. Clue the family in. It wasn't easy coming forward to the family about the whole 'writing thing' and asking for their support. And although I've heard the occasional story about a writer not telling their spouse until the agent contract shows up in the mail, I think for the most part writer's need that support if they are going to succeed. In my experience, it took some time to get that support. At first, I'm sure it seemed to my husband like another craze of mine that would fizzle out (I am an INFP afterall), but the harder I work and the more I produce, the more support he gives.

3. Set Goals. I do this weekly. Every Sunday I plan out what I want to get done for the week, and break it up over the week. Then each day I attack the list starting with the stuff I want to do least working my way up to the more exciting tasks (yes I always ate my veggies first). Some people have set hours they write. Personally I don't—that never seems to work for me. I just don't go to bed until my list is complete. So if I want to sleep...

4. Utilize online resources. The internet is a goldmine for writers. Use it. If you are writing your 1st draft, check out 750 words and/or Write or Die. I'm always jumping between the 2 depending on my mood. Check out Scrivener if you're in the outlining phases—there is even a Windows version now. And if you're editing, the grammar feature on Microsoft Word will tell you the percentage of passive sentences in your document, and your manuscript's reading level. Or try EditMinion. Informative and fun. And if you find random internet searching is keeping you from your goals, check out Freedom. For $10 you can shut off your internet connection for a specified period of time.

5. Reward yourself. When it comes to writing, especially pre-published writing, it's a lonely road. There is no boss there to tell you "good job", no clients or customers praising your services, no raise on your paycheck. You gotta count on yourself for that. So when you make your goals for the week, give yourself a pat on the back. Go watch your favorite TV program, start that new book you're dying to read, or go get a DQ Blizzard (and bring me one too). And when you're lucky enough to receive praise from somebody else, save it and savor it. On a bulletin board over my writing desk, I keep those treasured mementos—the note my husband wrote after I let him read my 1st novel, the letter from an essay contest I won, the e-mail from the first person outside my friends and family that said 'I love your writing', the picture my daughter drew of her and I writing together...Save those. You're going to need the 'little things', if you're gonna be able to hold on long enough to reach the 'big things.'

So what kinds of tips do you have for getting and staying on task?

Dating My WIP

Our eyes met. His sparkled bright and drew me in. I was intrigued. As he crossed the crowded room towards me, my heart pitter-pattered and the questions began to form. He was a puzzle, a mystery, an enigma. I wanted...I needed to know everything about him.

"Dinner?" he asked, and I nodded as I licked my dry lips. The anticipation had stolen my voice. He took my hand and led me to a table for two where we washed down forgettable food with tasteless wine.

Our conversation was slow, awkward at first. But with each question he answered more grew, spreading like wildfire. Before the evening ended, we had planned a second date. And from that night came more dinners followed by late night talks. Our conversations grew longer, our affection for each other grew until I could no longer hold it in.

A feverish passion flew through my fingers and across my keyboard. Each word brought us closer. I thought of him every waking hour and dreamt of him every night. When we couldn't be together, I lived in a fog, walking through the mundane tasks of my life while thinking of only him. I anticipated our moments together, forgoing food and sleep. I longed to be with him. I needed to be with him. He was all I wanted.

I thought, This is it. He could be the one. The one I've always dreamt of, planned for. The one who will take me places I've never even imagined. And our relationship grew, marked by a rapidly growing word count.

And then came the snag.

Something came along and distracted me. Suddenly he wasn't so exciting anymore. I stopped thinking about him as much. I stopped wondering about him. Stopped dreaming about him. Stopped caring. Suddenly I'd rather play Facebook games than spend time with him. Our relationship grew stale and cold. The word count stopped.

And then one day a song came on the radio that reminded me of him. Suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about him again. I wanted to...I needed to be with him. The word count began to rise, slowly at first but increasing at a steady pace.

Just when I thought we're back on track, that he IS the one, a light switch flipped. I began to notice things...the pimples on his chin, his large nose, his crooked teeth. His jokes weren't so funny anymore. He chewed with his mouth open, he never opened the door for me, and all he wanted to talk about is himself.

What did I see in him? Why did I think he was so great?

I began to notice others, with eyes that sparkled much brighter than his. I am drawn to them. I longed for the the mystery once more. But deep in the night a voice whispers to me. Press on. See this through. Don't give up.

So I put away all thoughts of the other sparkling eyes, and continued to date only him. It wasn't easy. Some nights we had dinners where we barely spoke and refused to look at each other. Some nights, I stood him up so I could curl up with my Kindle and bemoan the fact that our relationship will never be as good as Veronica Roth's Divergent.

Sometimes we did talk, slow and stilted. And then there are the nights, the great nights, where we talked all night long, rediscovering each other. The passion and the heat flowed again, sometimes lasting for days.

One day, I stopped and looked back for a moment. I saw the ups, the downs, the adversity we'd overcome. A surge of passion swept through me, driving me forward. The finish line was in sight. Once again, he consumed me, not with the exciting flame of a sparkler like in the beginning, but the more steady burn of a candle prepared to carry on through the last drop of wax.

And then came the dinner where he pulled out the tiny velvet black box. My heart fluttered as he dropped to one knee before me. I typed those final words and pressed print on my first draft as he slipped the gold band onto my finger.

I held up my hand, beaming with excitement and pride before spreading my joyous news to everyone I know. Then I danced around the room several times, nearly falling. As I pressed my hand to the table to catch myself, I felt the warmth of my freshly printed pages. I noticed the contrast of the gold ring to the crisp white...

And I knew that now the real work began.

But that is another post.

Happy Writing!

Hello Kitty and High Heels

So I know most blogs do five things on a Friday, but I don't have five things today. That and since I like to be different, I'm only doing 4. Besides by the time I get this posted it will be nearly Saturday.

So here are almost five things on an almost Saturday...

1. On the writing front, I'm about 13,000 words into the first draft of my new project....kind of in that sweet spot between the beginning hump and the wall aka the middle. I'm liking it here - the ideas and the words are rolling off my fingers relatively easy and with little blood.

2. Of course now that the writing is moving along smoothly, everything in my non-writing life is conspiring against me. Like a busy weekend ahead with a wedding to go to and dinner for my brother's birthday (which I'm hosting). And next week I am working in the office (I usually get to work at home) which means a long commute (nearly 2 hrs round trip). Most of the evenings will be eaten up with kids activities. So I'm crossing my fingers I can hold on to this momentum..even if it means just a mere 100 words before giving into the exhaustion each night.

3. In complete random news, I am wearing high heels to the wedding. I don't do high heels (well not well anyways). Yes klutzy me, made it to middle age without ever mastering the art of walking around with my heels off the ground. My husband thinks it's funny and wants to get me a bike helmet and knee pads. I'm just hoping I get through the day without broken bones.

4. Finally, if you're a writer in desperate need of confidence (like me), check out the Insecure Writer's Support Group over at Alex J Cavanaugh's blog. The best part - realizing I'm not alone - there are a whole lot of others out there who get the 'doubts' too. I'm planning on joining in next month.

So...

When life gets in the way when you're on a great writing streak, how do you keep it going?

Oh yeah and does anyone out there have some great tips for wearing heels?

BTR

So on Saturday the husband and I took the girls to a BTR concert at the State Fair.

BTR?

Big Time Rush. They are a boy band with a TV show on Nick. Imagine what you would get if you mated The Monkees with the Jonas Brothers...



Awww aren't they cute? The thousands of screeching girls on Saturday night sure thought so. I admit I like them too. Their TV Show is fun, their songs are catchy, and my daughters LUUVV them (and there are a lot worse things they could LUUVV).

But as they began to play, I noticed my 13-year-old glancing around in hesitation. Young girls all around us were standing and bouncing, hands flailing, jaws open wide as high-pitched screams pierced the air. My daughter stood awkwardly as she tried to shield the homemade T-shirt she had made with her crossed arms. The mom alarm in me immediately sensed the problem. She was easily the oldest girl in our row.

"Those girls over there have to be in high school," I said pointing a few rows down from us to a group in matching homemade T-Shirts dancing and singing along. I noticed her shoulders relax and it wasn't long before she was jumping along with the rest of them.

I couldn't help but think how much she is alike me. How often when it comes to writing I have a fabulous idea that I am ecstatic about only to let my eyes drift to those around me. I start comparing myself. They are younger than me. They are smarter than me. Their blogs are better. Their writing more polished. And like a deflating balloon the excitement and passion I had for my idea leaks out of me and my writing.

I don't want that. I want to be like the little boy in the row in front of us who was dressed to the nines and sang the words to every song, despite the rows and rows of girls surrounding him. I want to be like the little girl behind us who screamed over and over "I love you guys", even though the stage was too far away and the band would never hear her. I want to be like the dad who stood up and danced right along side his little girl while all the other parents sat in their seats.

I want to be me. To be excited and passionate and not give a hoot about what everybody around me is doing.

Whoever thought I could learn so much from a boy band concert?

BTR. Be Totally Real. That's my goal this week.

Happy Writing!

Five of My Favorite Things: Plotting

This week it's all about plotting and ideas for me. Here are five of my favorite plotting resources...



1. TV Tropes. This page should come with a warning. It will suck time away from your life. But it's fun.

2. Mind-mapping is an invaluable tool for developing and expanding on your ideas. Bubbl.us allows you to create, save, and print your own right on the web. It's simple, very easy to use, and free.

3. Martha Alderson, aka The Plot Whisper has a series of videos on her Youtube channel that walk you through step-by-step on planning and plotting a novel.

4. Randy Ingermanson teaches the Snowflake Method, a detailed plan which not only helps you plot your novel but write the 'dreaded synopsis' as well.

5. Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maass. This book is packed with valuable advice.

So what are some resources you like to use while plotting?

Throwing Spaghetti at the Wall...

When my husband and I were newlyweds, one of our biggest disagreements was on how to cook spaghetti. I grew up with a mother who broke the noodles in half before cooking. He grew up with one who didn't. Somehow during our 'discussion', he also informed me I needed to throw a noodle at the wall to see if it was completely cooked.

At the time, I had never heard this. And no, I didn't try it that night (or any night since), and I can't say I believe my mother-in-law has either.

But I've certainly felt like I've been throwing spaghetti at the wall. Especially this week.

Right now I'm in the beginning stages of my next project. I've written a few random scenes, brainstormed various plot lines, and have several pages filled with notes and drawings.

But mostly I've been throwing noodles at the wall, one by one, in hopes that one of them will stick.

My Awkward First Time (Blogging that Is)...

Okay so I've been blogless until now, and it was highly recommended I change that.  So, here I am.  Up until now, I have resisted joining the blogging world until now for two very big reasons:

1. Although I love to write, I am deathly afraid of the idea of having to come up with something interesting to write several times a week.
2. I'm pretty sure the only follower I'm going to get is my mom...and I'm not entirely sure she'll even read it.

 I still fear those things, but I'm plunging ahead anyways.

My story begins many many years ago. ( I'm not saying how many!)  The first book I remember falling in love with was a Ding Dong School Book by Miss Frances called I Decided.

I made my parents read and re-read this book so many times.  It's about a little girl out shopping with her mom who allows her to choose something for herself as a reward for being so good.  After three different choices (and a lot of thinking), the little girl decides that what she wants most of all is a book.

I could relate.  I was the child who asked for books for birthdays and Christmases.  I was the girl who loved going to the library.  Even as a teenager, my nose was always buried in a book.

I read my way through Ramona Quimby, the Little House books, Anne of Greene Gables, The Babysitter's Club, the Sunfire Romances, Sweet Valley High, and more.  When I was 12, I discovered the Diary of Anne Frank and longed for more than just the latest happenings in Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield's world. So, I started sneaking my mom's romances.

16 year old me reading Sidney Sheldon

It was during those years I read A Knight In Shining Armour by Jude Deveraux.   I couldn't get enough of time-travel or paranormal romance.

Writing was just a natural extension of my love for reading.   My childhood is riddled with journals, notebooks full of poetry, and many many pitiful attempts at writing a novel.  I knew without a doubt that all I wanted to be when I grew up was a writer.

Then I grew up.  I met my husband.  I had two daughters.  And somewhere between the bills and the diapers, my dream disappeared.   But not the stories. Not the voices.  They arrived in whispers in the quiet moments just before I fell asleep at night, in the tune of a random song on the radio, and in the wind as it whipped across my skin whenever a storm blew in.  They were there just waiting for me to reach out. And sometimes I did.  I read writing books.  I made several false starts.  I even took a writing class.   But nothing ever came from it.

Then three years ago I found myself at a crossroads.  Out of the blue, I recalled that first childhood book I had loved and I felt like that little girl again.  I needed to make a decision.  So I did.

I decided.  I decided to go for it.  I decided to make the time.  I gave up the tv programs, the facebook games, and nights out with friends.  I read dozens of books on the craft.  I wrote.  I researched.  I wrote.  I googled everything.  I wrote.  I stalked author blogs, agent blogs, etc.  I wrote.   I lurked on all the writing forums.  I wrote.

After three manuscripts (two were buried very very deep), four months of revisions, and countless hours of studying up on agents, I am nearing the querying (and rejection) phase.  And I'm scared out of my mind.  In my everyday world, my friends are wrapped up in their love lives, having babies, or their latest diet.  The writing world is a foreign and uninteresting concept to them.  So this is me, jumping in, hoping to reach out and find others who understand.

So Hello Blogosphere!   I am happy to be here.

P.S.  This first post is wordy and probably sucks.  I apologize.  Like a first draft, it can only get better from here :)